...is sort of what I feel now. I've been sitting at my desk since the kids went to bed, wading through a pile of Skaven and bits I picked up cheap, and I'm wondering how it managed to get this far. Granted, this lot has turned out to be another superdeal, a box of Skaven plus bits that turned out to be very low on bits, lots of plastic Skaven and a small bag of miniatures containing Bloodbowl Chaos models, old 1993 Skaven Plaguemonks and a Mordheim Possessed Leader, as well as some other metal bits and bobs, easily double in worth what I paid for it.
But this wasn't supposed to happen.
2015 would be my 20mm British year, until Piers dropped a Mordheim warband in my lap. For years, I've been saying no to GW, I couldn't or wouldn't afford it, I disliked painting 28mm figs, no one played the Specialist games I liked so much back then. For the last 10 years I've been repeating those things to myself over and over. And then the dam burst.
Everything I fought so hard against to prevent from happening is back. Impulse and lot buying seem to be my bane right now. For the past 3 weeks I've done more impulse buying then I did over entire 2014. My wargaming budget for 2015 is already blown, the profits from the 2014 sale vaporised. At least I have managed to buy the lots relatively selectively in that, with some careful planning, I should be able to break even and even make a nice profit, and get all of the models I wanted at the same time. That does mean I need to start selling stuff soon, not just to please Kim but also for my own sanity as my life feels turned upside down now. I feel my love for the older games of GW has been reignited into a roaring, all consuming flame. I've also noticed my salesman heart is beating hard again. I just love to wheel and deal, trade stuff, chasing my wants and needs.
Basically I have full blow tunnel vision. Again. At least, after 2 weeks, I've realised that and I'm now taking steps to stop it. I have another week to buy what I need, after that it is back to selling and trading to get what I want, and with the amount of stuff I have collected now, my needs have become few indeed.
Still, I got carried away with embracing GW back into my life. Mind you, the GW of old. Besides a few newer bits and bobs, nothing repulses me more then the current GW company. I've noticed lots more people have a hanckering to the old days of GW, so I'm not alone in that one.
So, on the negative side:
- I got carried away, it's a bit out of hand now
- Spent 750 euros in 1 month time...that is nearly my budget for a year!
- I'm back in the grasping arms of GW again.
- My Autism got the better of me.
- It feels like old love rekindled
- I should be able to break even and even make a profit when I sell the stuff I don't need
- I'll be playing games that made me happy 10 years ago, plus I have opponents all over the place, and more games = good :)
- I've recognised what the problem is and taking am active steps to remidy the situation
So, should I feel bad about this? Well, I do feel a tad guilty for spending so much money in such a short time on things I had never thought I would buy again, ever. It stings a little. But like I said, it is like embracing an old love back into my life. Getting the stuff from happier times is making me happy again. And I'm a trader again.
That is what I am really, a rogue trader.....
One that is going to be back in business in one weeks time (y)
I always say, if you're going to jump in, it may as well be at the deep end. Or maybe that's just me justifying this exact behaviour when I do it.
BeantwoordenVerwijderenI miss the old GW. Back when they used to be a gaming company, not an intellectual property machine.
I think I jumped in the deep end, head first, with a concrete block cast around my feet.....
VerwijderenNecromunda, Gorkamorka, Mordheim, Inquisitor, Bloodbowl, 2nd edition 40k, Battlefleet Gothic, ...
BeantwoordenVerwijderenHappy times indeed. These were GW's glory days. How deep the mighty can fall ...
I picked up some stuff tonight from another one who left the GW fold to do Warmachine....was fun mesmerising about GW's past. So many share the iea that their past is better then their future.
VerwijderenTo quote Metallica: "What doesn't kill you makes you more strong!" By the way there's a present in the post for you mate ;-)
BeantwoordenVerwijderenCheers Sander
Yup, got it. You nutcase, you didn't have to do that!
VerwijderenWho are you calling a nutcase? Have you read your own post above?!
VerwijderenPoint taken :)
VerwijderenWhat happened happened, I know the risks of a full on GW bender too well. Just don't use it to obsess and guilt-trip yourself over. Set right what needs correcting (a.k.a sell the excess figures, restore the budget, storage room and spousal approval rating). Take note of the learning points*, not just hazards but also your improvement areas and that which helps you, and move forward.
BeantwoordenVerwijderen*: Judging by your post, consider the following ones:
- You need to monitor your budget and tunnel vision (hazards), which you have succesfully done (help), but your response time needs work (improvement).
-GW is still a lure (hazard), but you know more precisely what you do and do not like about GW (help) and now differentiate more clearly in this (help). -You've altered the parameters of your black and white areas ( "All GW Evil" to "New GW Evil, old GW fun"), in a way that is less restrictive and more supportive of your preferences and sources of joy. (help)
-You now know where to find a number of people to share this particular interest (retro-GW/"Oldhammer") with and enjoy the occasional game with (help).
Don't feel bad, learn. Some regret is healthy, but use it as a carrot, not a stick. Looking at your post, you've concluded that already.
Oh, and totally forbidding something only increases its lure... In my experience it's better to allow yourself a bit of room to "sin" and thus keep a safety valve in place... Besides, I wouldn't mind playing the "classics" again as well. ;p
Best reply to one of my posts....ever :)
VerwijderenThanks... I do what I can. :)
VerwijderenMan I miss my old Skaven warband for Mordheim... They got tossed in the bin along with a lot of other classic stuff during a very traumatic move.
BeantwoordenVerwijderenI think you are doing the right thing, and I very much look forward to your 20mm Brits when the stars are right.
Hey mate, If you like, I can send you a box of made Skaven for free to take apart and try your hand at again? Shoot me a PM on the Guild if you want them :)
VerwijderenReading your posts it often feels like this hobby is more of a burden than a pleasure to you.
BeantwoordenVerwijderenMakes me happy I can enjoy just looking at all the shiny and contain my urges.
It is funny you should say that cause it is not. I put this hobby on a pedastal, a tall one. If this is just me, or is because of my autism, I don't know. Sometimes I'm drawn into it too much, I agree. At other moments I prefer to do other things and to leave it be. But most of the time I can enjoy them immensely, just playing in my own little creative world, painting, converting or just storytelling. I manage to repress my Buy it NOW! urges 95% of the time. I feel my hobby is a bit like a lover or spouse. I like being around it, sometimes I really like being around it, and sometimes I'll keep my distance. You could say I'm emotionally attatched to my hobby :)
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