...is sort of what I feel now. I've been sitting at my desk since the kids went to bed, wading through a pile of Skaven and bits I picked up cheap, and I'm wondering how it managed to get this far. Granted, this lot has turned out to be another superdeal, a box of Skaven plus bits that turned out to be very low on bits, lots of plastic Skaven and a small bag of miniatures containing Bloodbowl Chaos models, old 1993 Skaven Plaguemonks and a Mordheim Possessed Leader, as well as some other metal bits and bobs, easily double in worth what I paid for it.
But this wasn't supposed to happen.
2015 would be my 20mm British year, until Piers dropped a Mordheim warband in my lap. For years, I've been saying no to GW, I couldn't or wouldn't afford it, I disliked painting 28mm figs, no one played the Specialist games I liked so much back then. For the last 10 years I've been repeating those things to myself over and over. And then the dam burst.
Everything I fought so hard against to prevent from happening is back. Impulse and lot buying seem to be my bane right now. For the past 3 weeks I've done more impulse buying then I did over entire 2014. My wargaming budget for 2015 is already blown, the profits from the 2014 sale vaporised. At least I have managed to buy the lots relatively selectively in that, with some careful planning, I should be able to break even and even make a nice profit, and get all of the models I wanted at the same time. That does mean I need to start selling stuff soon, not just to please Kim but also for my own sanity as my life feels turned upside down now. I feel my love for the older games of GW has been reignited into a roaring, all consuming flame. I've also noticed my salesman heart is beating hard again. I just love to wheel and deal, trade stuff, chasing my wants and needs.
Basically I have full blow tunnel vision. Again. At least, after 2 weeks, I've realised that and I'm now taking steps to stop it. I have another week to buy what I need, after that it is back to selling and trading to get what I want, and with the amount of stuff I have collected now, my needs have become few indeed.
Still, I got carried away with embracing GW back into my life. Mind you, the GW of old. Besides a few newer bits and bobs, nothing repulses me more then the current GW company. I've noticed lots more people have a hanckering to the old days of GW, so I'm not alone in that one.
So, on the negative side:
- I got carried away, it's a bit out of hand now
- Spent 750 euros in 1 month time...that is nearly my budget for a year!
- I'm back in the grasping arms of GW again.
- My Autism got the better of me.
- It feels like old love rekindled
- I should be able to break even and even make a profit when I sell the stuff I don't need
- I'll be playing games that made me happy 10 years ago, plus I have opponents all over the place, and more games = good :)
- I've recognised what the problem is and taking am active steps to remidy the situation
So, should I feel bad about this? Well, I do feel a tad guilty for spending so much money in such a short time on things I had never thought I would buy again, ever. It stings a little. But like I said, it is like embracing an old love back into my life. Getting the stuff from happier times is making me happy again. And I'm a trader again.
That is what I am really, a rogue trader.....
One that is going to be back in business in one weeks time (y)